The Heart of Darkness – Understanding Anger
A contemplation on anger
Sacred wisdom of all traditions universally reminds us of the pitfalls and dangers of harboring and holding on to anger. Confucius denounces anger as the most potent of human failings, berating our inability to control anger as the root of most human misfortune.
Yet, anger remains an enigma to most of us. Anger and its all too familiar whimsical cousin – irritability manifest themselves rather early in human lives stubbornly remaining a constant. We grow from irritated babies to rebellious teenagers, from angst ridden, seething adults to cantankerous elderly individuals. No surprise then that we are a society and a species that is perpetually angry.
Stripped of the so-called grandeur of our self-declared importance as a life form, we are after all merely an inflammable cocktail of chemicals walking around for a moment in time. Vladimir Nabakov captured the ephemeral nature of human existence, “our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.” No surprise then that anger, hatred and its corollaries - violence and despair together become the burden we are all forced to carry in some form or the other. Of these, none is darker than anger. It is in many ways the preceptor of all that is corrosive and potentially self-destructive. Medical science corroborates this eloquently.
To those of us who flounder and attempt to navigate our way through the maze that is the twenty first century world, what do we make of this persistent prickly thorn that seems to flourish with abandon in our lives?
Like all human emotions, the function of anger is to provide a coping strategy for survival. Indeed, a cursory glance at human history reminds us that a defiant sense of anger, indignation at existing unjust social systems was the spark that ignited many revolutions. Collective anger that grows into a movement without spiralling into mob fury holds the potent power for social change.
Our concern is with the damaging effects of personal anger that we are tormented with and in turn torment others with, when words become weapons that lacerate the soul. Is anger then the cry of a pained, sorrowful heart that has momentarily forgotten the gentle salve of kindness? Is anger another word for disappointment perhaps? Gentleness, kindness are these mere words or impractical ideals in a world that worships at the altar of ruthless competition? What if we imagined an alternative world where gentleness with self and others is a practice rather than a derided idea?
As with most conundrums of human existence, the questions we grapple with usually find an answer in the gift that is art and sacred wisdom. Mystical poetry has long extolled the conquest over self as the greatest of all victories. Truly then, “Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me” (song by Jackson Miller, 1955)[1]
Neena, I loved your article. Two reasons - first, you have so beautifully and eloquently talked about something that very many people do not talk about openly or do not care to spend time on. Second, as a great article should, it not only expresses your point of view but also triggers thoughts and opinions in the mind of the reader.
I will talk about the thoughts it triggered in my mind. Anger is an emotion that everyone, I repeat, everyone experiences. But a person gets described as an angry person or not an angry person based on how they react to the the anger they experience.
Around 50% of humanity have been taught to believe that you suppress / hide your anger. This could be since it is so easy to lose control on the intensity or degree of reaction to the anger. This leads to situations / behaviours like avoiding conflicts, remaining in status quo and compromising all the time.
The other 50% think that if you are angry then it does not get out of your system till you express it out loudly in someway or take it out on someone. When the person takes it out on someone they are angry with it could lead to a loud shouting match or a loud monologue where only one person is venting. The other person may recognise that they are venting and let them or may be hurt to the core. If it is recognised as venting, it is usually a volcano that erupts and then dies down quickly. If it is not, it could serve a crack in a mirror that cannot be easily mended.
If the person takes it out on someone that was not the cause of the anger, and it is not recognised as venting it could easily turn into a misunderstanding that could last a long time due to ego.
Personalities, compatiblities, all are defined by where in the - reaction to anger spectrum - people are.
I personally believe that for the survival and progression of human kind it is better if the middle of the spectrum is heavier (more populated) than the edges of the spectrum.
Oof, beautifully written. I read it twice! Look forward to more of these.🤍